Fauxcahontas: Elizabeth Warren’s DNA Debacle
Liz Warren messed up bad; she messed up *real* bad.
In an ill-advised gambit to head off her most potent criticism, Democrat Senator Elizabeth Warren has gotten an official DNA test from Stanford University. Warren’s goal? Prove her utterly infamous claims of Native American ancestry to be valid. The results are… less than ideal for her.
The rationale for Warren choosing to get this done is hardly enigma. Her nebulous claims of Native American ancestry have always been a political weak spot in the high-profile progressive’s armor. Her claims were dragged to the spotlight during her 2012 senatorial campaign, but it wasn’t until soon to be US President Donald Trump opened up the barrage that things got ugly for Warren.
With Trump’s vitriol towards Warren, who he famously styled in his trademark fashion as ‘Pocahontas’, garnering real substance and national support against Warren’s often touted ethnicity, the Senator was vocally pushed by detractors to take a DNA test to prove her heritage; something she’s adamantly refused to participate in until now.
With Senator Warren all but guaranteed to throw her name in the running for the DNC’s next champion to face their Trumpian Terror, Pocahontas desperately needed to validate herself and shed the negative stigma with recovery time to spare.
In that sense, this move makes sense for the Massachusetts Senator. Warren has never proven her claims of native ancestry despite going so far as to tout it in her professional career decades before political ambitions ever came to be. In an arguably savvy effort to head off her greatest weakness (with midterms primed to wash away any sour memories of the effort) Warren simply attempted to get her DNA proven as native and for this fact to then be spread with an initial releasee from the Boston Globe validating her purported identity.
The Problem? Warren ended up proving Trump right, and now she’s a proven laughing stock.
Unfortunately for Warren, the results didn’t reflect her beloved claim of minority status; in fact pretty much the opposite with the resulting data declaring Warren to have statistically less Native American DNA than the average white American at a genuinely comical 1/1024th result of heritage.
While Donald Trump is undoubtedly dying laughing in the Oval Office at this absolute gift of a development, Warren (insanely) apparently considered this a win.
Perhaps Warren was relying on the Globe ‘accidentally’ completely fudging the numbers regarding Warren’s results in an effort to help her case. Unfortunately for her, the truth is at absolute best Warren has less native American blood than most Americans. While Warren and her followers are content to declare this proving Trump a liar, it’s appallingly tone-deaf; especially in light of Native Americans requiring 1/6 heritage to be regarded as an ethnic member.
Honestly, I’m not sure this one requires too much of a breakdown. Elizabeth Warren is absolutely shooting herself in the foot here in a completely botched effort to get ahead of Trump.
Warren, or should I say ‘Fauxcahontas’, is not only not anywhere near as Native American as she seems to believe (claiming Cherokee heritage in a published native cookbook for example) she’s actually laughably native American.
Considering the majority of us likely have more Cherokee Heritage than Warren, it’s honestly probably wildly offensive to native communities for her to parade around as ‘one of them’. Warren has proven utterly tone-deaf with this entire fiasco, and I’d argue put the last nail in the coffin for her precious presidential bid.
While this seems more like the type of document Republican staffers would have to dedicate years to digging up, Warren has explicitly set herself up for what I can only assume is a looming media firework show of epic proportions.