The Senate Says Brown New Deal Is More Like It

Call it toilet humor, but AOC’s outrageous Green New Deal is the basest joke this country has heard in a long time, with people on both sides of the aisle crapping their pants in laughter.

Politics is a dirty business, and you shouldn’t make a career of it unless you’re willing to have your dirty laundry hung up for all the world to see. (Author’s note: the freshman Congresswoman’s full name doesn’t merit spelling out; that’s just a waste of keystrokes.) One would think AOC might learn something from this debacle, but I doubt it. One would also think that the Democrats in general would have learned something about honesty, but that’s obviously not the case either.

When AOC first yanked the microphone from her smarter, more experienced colleagues back when to put the attention on me, me, me…and spell out a new environmental, economic and social plan for America that rivals anything Rod Serling or H.G. Wells could ever come up with…everyone asked the hard questions as to how any of this was possible without the country’s total collapse, but AOC didn’t have even soft answers to any of them. This was to be expected, but the big surprise (I think it was a surprise; you tell me), is how deeply her Democratic fellowship doubled down and backed this nonsense. Sort of. When the cameras were on, anyway.

Also worth noting is that nowadays, it’s hardly necessary to use the distinction “progressive” to characterize certain Democrats. The entire party is now officially progressive, from top to bottom. They just haven’t officially changed their name yet. The “new” Democratic Party policy seems to be unity uber alles, anything to defeat Trump, as if unity is all it will take to take down the most successful President in modern history. (Give it a shot, guys. See you in 2024.)

However, AOC’s support from her fellow Dems proved shallow at best, if not pure fiction. It’s one thing to look progressive and wonderful on CNN (makeup please!), but when it’s time to go on record and vote for something which some experts predict could easily spike unemployment rates in your home state 30%, 40%, 50% (the sky’s the limit with this deal!), the Dem Senators didn’t vote yes. Not a single one. (I would love to see what a House vote on this would be!) And this vote was only to discuss the plan, not even to remotely implement any of its needed legal, procedural, and regulatory changes.

But were the Dems more fearful of the apocalypse that the Green New Deal would bring, or more fearful of losing votes in upcoming elections? It’s, of course, the latter, which makes their behavior even more despicable.

“I believe in this stuff because Trump doesn’t! But are there any other options besides ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ because I got an election coming up! You mean I can vote ‘present’ and wiggle myself out of this mess? This Senator from the great almost-a-state of Hawaii votes present!”

Save three Democrats and one Independent who voted no on just talking about the Green New Deal, all Democratic Senators voted present, which is the same as no for those who don’t actually have the cajones to put that on record. (Party unity uber alles, remember?)

But how come not a single Democratic Senator voted yes?

How’s that for the bold leadership they all campaign on? Is “present” as united as they can get to defeat Trump in 2020? Needless to say, all Republicans voted no. We’re the party of higher fiscal responsibility and realistic economic growth which doesn’t believe in the Tooth Fairy.

AOC, Schumer, Pelosi and the other Dems brave enough, stupid enough, or required to speak with the media after this Senate vote disgrace called the vote a cheap political stunt by Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who forced the vote in the first place. Did they forget that they get their payroll checks and pensions because they work in politics, not digging ditches or working at WalMart like real Americans do? This is another crucial element of the new Democratic Party mantra.

When suffering a humiliating political defeat, simply attribute it to cheap politics. This is the kind of Sophist argument that Socrates, Jean-Paul Sartre and Nietzsche could spend hours upon hours debating.

The real tragedy of the Green New Deal, if you can call it that, is that it asked for too much too soon, and most of what it demanded is unnecessary and completely impossible to accomplish in the first place. (Ever try to stop a cow from ripping a good fart?) The Dems’ arrogance and unwillingness to propose logical, economically and logistically feasible changes to environmental policies have made reasonable compromise a lot less likely.

So for now, the Green New Deal is dead. Maybe they’ll come up with another plan with a more agreeable, bi-partisan color, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m just holding my nose.