FBI: Hillary Clinton Claims Brain Damage, Doesn't Remember Briefings

Hillary Clinton’s latest lie would be hilarious – if the FBI wasn’t going along with it.

According to documents released this Friday, Hillary told the FBI that she could not remember certain briefings she attended (as Secretary of State) due to a concussion she suffered in 2012. The briefings she “can’t remember” just so happen to have focused on the necessity of preserving sensitive information. 

How stupid does she think we are?? 

On July 2nd, Clinton told FBI investigators that she “received no instructions or direction regarding the preservation of production of records.” 

Clinton suffered a concussion in December of 2012 and experienced a blood clot January.  “Based on her doctor’s advice,” reads the report, “she could only work at State for a few hours a day and could not recall every briefing she received.” 

“Clinton did not have any discussions with aides about turning over her email records, nor did anyone from State request them. She believed her work-related emails were captured by her practice of sending email to the state.gov email addresses of her staff,” continues the report. “Clinton was unaware of the requirement to turn over printed records at that time. Her physical records were boxed up and handled by aides.” 

The former Secretary of State confirmed that she experienced dizziness and double vision after the concussion, but insists there was no permanent damage. 

The FBI investigation into Hillary’s use of a private server during her time at the State Department is officially closed, but this new information has led many to question if Hillary is healthy enough to serve as president. After all, being the President of the United States is one of the most stressful jobs in the world. 

Radio host and TV personality Dr. Drew Pinsky is concerned that “serious” blood clotting in Hillary’s leg could cause a pulmonary embolism. Pinsky is worried “not just about her health, but her health care.” He told Drew McIntyre during a recent interview that Hillary has ben “receiving sort of 1950’s level care.” 

Hillary responded to these concerns by demonstrating her “strength” on a recent episode of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! when she opened a pickle jar. “I don’t know why they are saying this,” said Hillary. “I think on the one hand, it is part of the wacky strategy, just say all these crazy things and maybe you can get some people to believe you. On the other hand, it just absolutely makes no sense. I don’t go around questioning Donald Trump’s health. As far as I can tell, he is healthy as a horse.” 

Editor’s note: If we actually believed what she was saying, then her injury actually caused permanent memory loss.  That’s called “brain damage.” If she doesn’t remember this much, then she likey doesn’t remember a lot of other things. If we play along, a brain damaged person certainly shouldn’t be President.