Yale Doctor Advises Shunning Trump-Voting Family Members
A “Mental Health Essential”?
As the holiday season approaches, many families look forward to gathering with loved ones. But according to Yale psychiatrist Dr. Amanda Calhoun, some should consider skipping out on relatives who voted for Donald Trump. In a recent interview on MSNBC’s The ReidOut with Joy Reid, Calhoun suggested that liberals—and especially those from vulnerable communities—might benefit from “setting boundaries” by entirely avoiding any holiday gathering where they may encounter Trump supporters. She even went as far as to say that this could be “essential” for maintaining one’s mental health.
Dr. Calhoun, chief psychiatry resident at Yale, discussed how this strategy could be a way for liberals to cope with their frustration following Trump’s reelection. Speaking with Reid, she argued that if a family member’s political stance feels like an attack on one’s rights or livelihood, it’s okay to tell them directly that they won’t be attending any shared events.
PBP Editor: Perhaps a better way is to grow up and be an adult?
“If you are going into a situation where you have family members, where you have close friends who you know have voted in ways that are against you… it’s completely fine to not be around those people and to tell them why,” Calhoun advised. For Dr. Calhoun, the message is clear: family bonds may need to take a back seat to political boundaries this holiday season.
PBP Editor: Think about that ” family bonds may need to take a back seat to political boundaries.” Someone needs to check her credentials…
What is Calhoun’s reasoning? She pointed to reports of increased mental health crises among vulnerable populations in the wake of Trump’s reelection. Citing a recent surge in crisis calls from LGBTQ+ youth to The Trevor Project—a rise by 700% since Trump’s election—Calhoun suggested that some individuals, especially within the LGBTQ+ community, might need to protect their mental health by separating from Trump-voting family members. Calhoun even suggested that sharing the reason for this separation—explicitly linking it to the family member’s vote—would be important to “take space for me.”
For some, this advice might be refreshing, even empowering. Calhoun’s words resonate with those who feel personally attacked by Trump’s policies, including LGBTQ+ individuals, women, and other minority groups. Host Joy Reid pointed to recent statements from Trump allies that many considered derogatory. Reid mentioned how J.D. Vance’s reference to “taking out the trash” was perceived as a degrading remark toward women, especially Black women like Vice President Kamala Harris. To Dr. Calhoun, avoiding Trump-voting family members may feel like self-defense against a world that appears increasingly hostile.
However, not everyone is buying this advice, and for good reason. For many, the idea of cutting off family members over political disagreements—especially during the holiday season—seems extreme. Critics argue that Dr. Calhoun’s approach not only divides families but also threatens to deepen political divides across the country. Social media reactions to her comments were swift, with many voicing disbelief and disapproval. One X (formerly Twitter) user claimed, “She has to have mental health issues herself if she thinks it’s reasonable to tell people to alienate their own family.” Another user commented, “Imagine choosing politics over family. This advice just puts gasoline on an already roaring fire of division.”-
Beyond social media, other prominent voices on MSNBC questioned the strategy of isolating family over political differences. Joe Scarborough, host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, argued that liberals have increasingly lost touch with working-class Americans, especially by focusing on cultural issues like immigration and transgender policies. Scarborough criticized the Democratic Party for being “afraid” to address these topics directly, suggesting that this hesitancy leaves room for Trump’s rhetoric to sway voters. Scarborough’s words highlight the broader disconnect some perceive between the Democratic base and mainstream America, where such aggressive boundary-setting with family members might seem out of touch.
Despite this backlash, Dr. Calhoun held firm, maintaining that personal well-being and self-protection take precedence over obligatory family gatherings. She explained, “There’s this societal push that if someone is your family, they are entitled to your time. And I think the answer is absolutely not.” For her, being around Trump-voting relatives could be mentally exhausting or even harmful for those who feel their rights are under threat.
But where is the line between healthy boundaries and divisive isolation? The suggestion to avoid family members because of their voting choices raises questions about how much political ideology should affect personal relationships. If everyone followed this advice, the result could be an America where political allegiance determines who we are willing to spend time with, rather than shared family history or mutual love and support.
Calhoun’s recommendation has also intensified debates around freedom of choice and respect for differing opinions. For many Americans, including those who voted for Trump, the notion that a single vote should lead to family alienation is troubling. After all, isn’t the purpose of gathering at the holidays to share love and understanding, even amid differences? Dr. Calhoun’s suggestion, some say, threatens the very spirit of unity that the holiday season promotes.
Moreover, critics argue that advice like Calhoun’s overlooks how critical open conversations are to healing political rifts. With many families already strained by political divides, some feel that now, more than ever, is a time for respectful dialogue—not further separation. By telling people to avoid their Trump-supporting relatives, Calhoun may be encouraging more polarization, rather than helping families bridge their differences.
In the end, the question remains: should family members who disagree politically simply avoid one another? Dr. Calhoun suggests that mental health could depend on it, particularly for those whose rights or identities may feel threatened. However, the incredulity and backlash her comments received highlight a different perspective: that such advice may only add fuel to an already heated national divide. For some, setting boundaries might mean avoiding the political debates altogether, keeping family gatherings focused on shared experiences rather than divisive politics. In the eyes of her critics, Dr. Calhoun’s advice risks turning a season of togetherness into a season of estrangement.
PBP Editor: This is one of the more extreme response from liberals, go ahead and break up your family rather than accept their political views. If I were Yale, I would be firing this person and completely disassociating from her.
I think you have proven Calhoun’s theory.
I don’t give a damn what my family thinks. I voted for Trump and I’m proud of it.
I think the point is conflict avoidance, not hate, not against family ties, but why just fight if you can easily avoid it.
Suppose I am a Republican and most of my family is Democrat. By her similar reasoning, I should avoid the family get togethers? Or should I just present myself and try to defend my values when the subjects arise, while offending them? Or just remain silent???
Enjoy your time with family and don’t bring up politics. Or engage with your family if they do. If they are democrats that is proof that they are mentally unstable. The democrats are more likely to resort to violence over differences of opinion. I have seen it. Democrats should be required to attend therapy sessions or be on medication. No reasonable person would be a democrat just by choice. It’s possible that they need a minister to exercise evil spirits from them.
Wow Jim, that says it all. You start from thinking I am unstable, lean toward violence over words, and need therapy and meds. And then you get worse.
Sounds like a cheery evening. Let’s do it again next year.
If you want the drumstick, I know where you can put it.
The statements by Jim Wampler were directed as an answer to the person named “reward”, so how did you get it was a retort to you? Wow, you really think you are God, don’t you? You are no more than a dictator as you have shown with your answer to someone that did not direct to you. What? You the King of this site now? If anyone divides this nation, it is the class like you. You just cannot get rid of your hate, can you? You can’t ever say anything good or nice, can you? You just have to be as nasty (just like a Liberal) as you can, don’t you? You asked for this, so grin and bear it.
Again, I think the point is, for either party, why not avoid the whole thing if you can. Family is the most important thing, but an in-your-face snowflake vs Trumplicant free for all is not family values. If either side can’t tone down the rhetoric, perhaps better to walk away.
Decorum and being a gentleman are not at odds with our values.
Gee, some could try that here for practice for the holidays.
Things have changed. Being different is being seen as a measure of the man. Gay bad, trans horrid, either party awful as seen by other party. I call you fascist. You call me demon communist. Your prospective ag wants to hauls us into the street and do terrible things to our bodies. He says “politically metaphorically. Yeah, right. That’s a wide chasm to cross in discussions. Ask yourself: if you were to move to another state, would you check the color first? I have lived in red areas most my life, never thought twice about it. I do today. Did you ever expect the military to judge soldiers based on party? Do you think this shit, from either side, stops because there’s turkey on the table?
Not my deal anymore. The game is yours, you won it all. Now, let’s see if you come to the holiday table or if you come to arrest us, drag us into the street and do what Mike Davis metaphorically says he really wants to do.literally. Balls in your court.
It sounds to me like there are many who are not interested in uniting our country. Biden promised to do in in 2020, now Trump makes the same promise. How can we make this happen? I think it starts with our news media. In my opinion, these folks on the left have hatred toward the right because they refuse to listen to any media that is conservative. They listen to and believe what the “mainstream media” tells them; That Trump is like Hitler, is a misogynist, fascist and on and on it goes. I saw all the young girls and woman crying at Camala’s concession speech. I strongly feel sorry for them as they have been misled. I think most Americans are truly patriotic and love this country. We have so much in common and outside of pollical differences we get along great. Let us look for the positive in each other and respect each other’s right to their pollical beliefs.
Yes, there are differences. Most conservative do not believe men should be in women’s shower rooms or participate in women’s sports. We do not support the distortion of children’s minds as they attend drag queen shows. We support a strong border and legal immigration. I believe conservatives now have accepted that there are many gay people who are also patriotic, we support them, we are friends with them, we do not hate them. I will admit that I do not support the flaunting as in gay parades and other celebrations. They should be just like normal people. We do not have demonstrations celebrating our “straightness.”
Please, I ask those who hate Trump and conservatives to seek other news sources. Just to be fair you should at least be curious about the rest of the news that mainstream media has been hiding, or distorting. I am proud to be an American, you should be too! Let us seek understanding and let us unite.
Where has the whole idea of democracy and living in a Republic gone? The entire idea of freedom is just that. People are free to vote as they like without fear of retribution or shunning. Further, in a Republic, the rights of the minority are protected, not simply majority rule. By the way, women are not a minority clsss. Women out number men. Trump could not have won the election without the votes of many women to offset the many men who voted for Harris. This is just anther example of trying to split Americans by division. This election was not about race or gender. It was simply based on policy. We are all Americans.
Funny thing is No republican was ever agents the LGBTQ+ community, just the incompetence in the hiring practices.
A lot of people in government were given their jobs over better qualified applicants because of their LGBTQ+ positions.
Jobs should be given on merit and Not sexual orientation.
Did this same woman recommend avoiding Republican family 4 years ago?
If not, then why not?
Sounds like sour grapes and ones abilities to not grow up as an adult!
AGAIN, Democrat uneducated individuals listening to complete incompetent Ass Holes.
And they still wonder why they lost an election.
I said it before though, 2% margin is just TOO CLOSE!
THERE ARE STILL TOO MANY IDIOTS IN THIS COUNTRY!
Darren, saying that no Republicans were ever against LGBTQ is as stupid as saying no Democrats were ever against this community. Defies logic.
Can you point to any specific legislation that provides a quota for this community in the federal government? There is one in California at least for board members in private sector, however that was deemed unconstitutional in the private sector.
There are many laws in the books for anti-discrimination for this and many other communities, you can’t be referencing that, can you?
Really don’t know what you’re talking about here.. you seem to be mixing the quota system for the black community. That’s pretty much gone by the wayside at this point. But, feel free to bring new facts to light.
I have asked the question above, but will ask you directly, imagine that you wanted to move to another state. Would you check the color of the state before you made your move? 10 years ago I wouldn’t even think it a subject, what’s us even look. Today I would look. How about you? Be honest.
SOUNDS LIKE THE YALE PSYCHIATRIC DEPARTMENT COULD USE SOME MENTAL HEALTH CARE!!!
Frank, I do not ever see any Legislation against hiring LGBTQ.
Show me if it is there!
People just want the best person for the job.
If you do not agree with this statement I feel sorry for any person who you ever worked for!
Your statements are ridiculous.
I think you have America mixed up with Mexico or some other 3rd world country..
I hope you are retired and not in a position of hiring anyone.
May your Doctor one day be a DEI hire.
Hope this will make you feel better!
Darren, you said no Repub against the community. That statement does not pass the sniff test for either party.
You said people get jobs because of this, that smacks of quota, and there is none. Yes, people consider dei, so what. Trump will only hire conservatives, will fire democrats, and will use the entire might of the federal government to go after anyone mouthing off to him. EJ Carrol is toast.
Dude, I hired a lot, had teams in the hundreds, and fired few. I treasured diverse teams and followed all hr rules. Giant corp so different than smaller place. But yes, within the rules. I cheated to get the best. And I lateralled more than fired given it was faster and I believed the was a good spot, just not mine. Once I lateraled a guy into a promotion. He did well. .
Once I lost a job to a minority who I could run circles around. I was Darren pissed till Mom said, suck it buttercup, you have plenty of gifts just for glueing a white guy. Didn’t help, but I say not a challenge, but opportunity so I got my bump in a better place.
Just seems like small stuff to sweat unless you feel left behind.
Why do u feel divesity is bad, equality overrated, and inclusion outdated. I can do all that and still get mine too.
But as a guideline, not a mandate.
This “doctor” is a dunce. They are making those XYZ people even more disliked because they are only super special in the minds of nuts like this. She sounds like a rabid Trump hater and is pushing her beliefs on anyone she can.
Who sees the other party is the more toxic depends on degrees of entrenchment and defensive attitude. Republicans having just won the Presidential Election will be on a high energy aggressive tear. Their Democrat voting friends and relation are well aware that politics will be brought up or be the elephant in the room creating awkwardness. However, time with those most appreciated in our life need not sink into sullen silence or a personal nit picking session. You all have to be better than the worst you are capable of acting.
Now this is a big if, but why not consider this; if people who we have cared about and have had respect for being that they are friends and family, then what keeps us from being mature behaving and adult acting enough, so we resemble the big people we all think we are. Why not be good examples for the young folk and children in the group.
Democrat relatives anticipate their holiday gathering with family as something that strikes fear and causes anxiety because they know their Republican relatives to be out spoken Trump allies. This becomes compounded for the Democrat side especially when they are are made to feel inferior and the odd ones out, being that they are out numbered. No one invited should feel socially uncomfortable and want to be somewhere else. Division and unresolvable differences in politics on the most basic societal level that is the family does not lend much hope for unity and healing from division’s pain..
Whether one sees the division issue has always been the fault of those Republicans in our families or in American Culture as a whole. Or conversely, you hold the Democrats responsible for this country’s chaos and rancorous oppositional attitude toward others not in agreement with the left’s ideology. GET OVER IT STUPIDS If you become prejudiced against all people with eye color that’s different from your brown eyes, doers that make you more intelligent, of coarse not. That would be stupid. How about if your IQ is 150+ and most people’s IQ is less than 150 are you, then, a better person due to the difference in your higher IQ. Not in the least bit.
When our politics are the majority if not all of our personal identity and our personal worth and in our life we find differences between our identity and other peoples’ identities. It’s in that moment when how you decide to relate with people you perceive as different in many aspects often confusing to you, that will define your character and establish your true identity. True Fact. Your character includes the essential parts which are the drivers in your moral and ethical behavior choices. Character and identity are fused together. not separate parts in your personality.
Allowing the politics of the day to control your identity/character is an act of capitulation and ultimately a total loss of personal control. You have abdicated control power that an individual is given and handed it over to group think dogma. Right wing or Left wing politics can take over life and dominate our thinking to a point where objectivity becomes impossible for the individual. Never the less, what too many of us neglect seeing is those essential factor all of us share in common. Strip away every external trapping which causes division and then see all people are alike, we have needs and wants that hunger for satisfaction, but what is it that separates the rich from the poor, the haves from the have nots , and the Right from the left? How nonsensical are the mean and ugly thoughts and word and actions we contrive? What good comes from disparaging your fellow human beings. If there is disagreement and right and left are both convicted in thinking. Our democracy is failing because it essence has not been assimilated into each and every persons heart/mind connection in this country.
Finally, questions that are asked about the path out of division and chaos is a road democracy has paved for every one’s benefit. That road is meant for all people living on American Soil. And all means all . Free and fair in it governance.
True Fact, Free and Fair is a foreign tongue which those dyed in one ideology exclusive of any other can not learn nor speak at all. what can be said of them but that today’s win can just as well be tomorrow’s loss. Be not content in prejudice and condescendence, those will profit you nothing but grief.
There there now. Think before …..