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The Naked Truth About Left-Wing Nudity

We have just passed an annual event that is iconic in terms of left-wing activism.   It was the annual International Naked Bike Day.  Naked protesting is not new to the left.  It goes back to at least the 1960s when groups of left-wingers in Washington, D.C., would shed their clothing as a protest against the Vietnam war.  They would prance in the public fountains and the Reflecting Pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial.  

While I never understood the connection between protesting a brutal war and romping naked in public, it was occasionally a visually pleasant experience for me – a 29-year-old guy newly arrived in the nation’s capital.  And in those days, naked protesting was the choice of the young and attractive.

Stripping was such a traditional practice among those on the left, that I penned a 2008 commentary in my old blog, “On the Starboard,” about a young lady known as Earth Friend Gen.  Her thing was the environment and shocking unsuspecting pedestrians.  I wrote:

“A while back I was wondering out loud why liberals think nudity adds to the relevancy of their various protests. In one of those blogs, I noted the ditzy views of one Earth Friend Gen. She claims you cannot address (or is it undress?) the problems of the world until you are … as they say … comfortable in your skin. And, she believes you cannot be comfortable in your skin unless you are willing to show your comfort level to the mostly unwilling eyes of unsuspecting men, women and children. (🡨Listed in the ascending order of unwillingness.)

It is okay to be comfortable in one’s own skin, Gen, but that does not mean others are as comfortable with YOUR skin as you are. In many cases, naked bodies are … sorry to say … unattractive at best and nausea-inducing at worst.

Seems my friend Gen (rhetorically speaking, since I never met her) is in the news again. This time for naked skating. She initially sought permission to skate naked in the Portland, Oregon, Fourth of July Parade. They turned her down. I guess if you don’t have any place to stick a flag pin you can’t parade in Portland on Independence Day.

Well, despite the parade ban, or maybe protesting it, Earth Friend Gen has been gliding around town wearing only a pair of inline skates. Police report that a number of construction workers have complained.

Whoa! Construction workers complaining about a naked woman whizzing by on rollerblades? We all know that construction workers are the number one “bird” watchers in America – and no one appreciates jiggly boobs and bouncing butts more than those guys with the hard ones ….. hats, that is. (Shame on you!) 

If they are complaining, you would think Earth Friend Gen has to be a bit on the au natural ugly side. Judging by her photo, I would say not pin up pretty, but not bad enough to have the Portland construction gawkers calling the police, for heaven’s sake. They are a hard to please crowd out in Portland. The potbellied construction workers of my hometown of Chicago would think Gen a Venus — and if they did call the police, it would only be to have them join in the chorus of wolf whistles.    

With all that is going on in the economy and in the war on terror, I should not spend too much time on the antics of Earth Friend Gen. However, this blog has now made it a mission to keep you updated on the latest news in nude protesting. After all, someone has to do it.  Maybe I should add to my blog banner head, “All the nudes fit to print.”

I wonder where Gen is these days. Having added another 15 years to her body, I hope she has passed the baton of naked protesting to the GenZ crowd.

What began as organ protests … Ooops! I mean, organic protests have now been institutionalized into yet another left-wing unofficial holiday – an international day of naked bike riding to protest … uh … whatever it is, the left-wing protests.

In Seattle, the naked bikers joined the gay pride celebration – which historically features various levels of nakedness without the support of the mercenary buck-naked bikers.  

The naked protest activists say that their efforts are to raise awareness of biker rights and safe bicycling.  That is not even a good fig-leaf cover.  These folks are vulgar exhibitionists at best and perverts at worst.  Their primary purpose is to show off their dubiously beautiful bodies – with a few notable exceptions — in order to shock people.  They are not the hotties of the 1960s.  Hmm?  Actually, maybe they are and that is the problem.

One of the major complaints is that these folks are parading their nakedness in front of children.  That is just wrong.  I am not a prude, but I have trouble with distinguishing the bikers from the “flashers” who get a sexual kick out of exposing themselves in front of a grade school during recess.

If people go to designated nudist resorts or nude beaches, I have no issue with that.  (Truth be known, my wife and it participated in the custom on that special beach in St. Martin.  Of course, that was when I was much younger and … shall we say … more presentable.  I am now more like that subject of the portly Internet minstrel who sings, “I don’t look good naked anymore”.  Some of those bikers should check it out.  But I digress.)

Some argue that being naked in public is free speech – protected by the First Amendment.  They are making a statement.  Then why not include urinating or defecating in public places or on private property – as appears to be the custom in San Francisco?  (If you wonder why I picked on San Francisco, search the Internet for “San Francisco poop map.”  But again, I digress).

We once had — and enforced — laws against “indecent exposure.”  But that was when we tended to enforce all laws as a matter of principle — and when we had a sense of decency.  The naked biker enthusiasts claim that they are not doing it to be sexual.  Judging from most of their ages and body shapes, I am inclined to accept that caveat.  

As a libertarian-leaning conservative, I believe in maximum freedom – even the freedom to be crude and vulgar.  Consequently, I am not inclined to make offensive behavior illegal, but I do wish our culture had not become so corrupted that it is acceptable to offend a large segment of the American public for no good reason.  And yes, I think peddling their bare asses – among other things – is devoid of both clothing and good purpose.

I still wonder why these nude events are the preferred manner of protest by those on the left.  But if they insist on going around sans clothing for some left-wing cause, they should at least take note of the nudie magazines and offer the public something a bit more appealing.

As part of my research for this commentary, I asked AI, what is so bad about naked biking for an alleged cause?  Here is AI’s final paragraph on the subject.

“The annual naked bike riding is a harmful and unnecessary spectacle that should be stopped. It is not a legitimate or constructive way of expressing one’s views or values. It is not a celebration of freedom or diversity. It is not a harmless or fun activity. It is a disrespectful and irresponsible act that harms public decency, morality, and children’s well-being.”

Wow! A bit harsh, but I tend to agree.

So, there ‘tis.

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