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The Naked Truth About Left-Wing Nudity

The Naked Truth About Left-Wing Nudity

We have just passed an annual event that is iconic in terms of left-wing activism.   It was the annual International Naked Bike Day.  Naked protesting is not new to the left.  It goes back to at least the 1960s when groups of left-wingers in Washington, D.C., would shed their clothing as a protest against the Vietnam war.  They would prance in the public fountains and the Reflecting Pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial.  

While I never understood the connection between protesting a brutal war and romping naked in public, it was occasionally a visually pleasant experience for me – a 29-year-old guy newly arrived in the nation’s capital.  And in those days, naked protesting was the choice of the young and attractive.

Stripping was such a traditional practice among those on the left, that I penned a 2008 commentary in my old blog, “On the Starboard,” about a young lady known as Earth Friend Gen.  Her thing was the environment and shocking unsuspecting pedestrians.  I wrote:

“A while back I was wondering out loud why liberals think nudity adds to the relevancy of their various protests. In one of those blogs, I noted the ditzy views of one Earth Friend Gen. She claims you cannot address (or is it undress?) the problems of the world until you are … as they say … comfortable in your skin. And, she believes you cannot be comfortable in your skin unless you are willing to show your comfort level to the mostly unwilling eyes of unsuspecting men, women and children. (🡨Listed in the ascending order of unwillingness.)

It is okay to be comfortable in one’s own skin, Gen, but that does not mean others are as comfortable with YOUR skin as you are. In many cases, naked bodies are … sorry to say … unattractive at best and nausea-inducing at worst.

Seems my friend Gen (rhetorically speaking, since I never met her) is in the news again. This time for naked skating. She initially sought permission to skate naked in the Portland, Oregon, Fourth of July Parade. They turned her down. I guess if you don’t have any place to stick a flag pin you can’t parade in Portland on Independence Day.

Well, despite the parade ban, or maybe protesting it, Earth Friend Gen has been gliding around town wearing only a pair of inline skates. Police report that a number of construction workers have complained.

Whoa! Construction workers complaining about a naked woman whizzing by on rollerblades? We all know that construction workers are the number one “bird” watchers in America – and no one appreciates jiggly boobs and bouncing butts more than those guys with the hard ones ….. hats, that is. (Shame on you!) 

If they are complaining, you would think Earth Friend Gen has to be a bit on the au natural ugly side. Judging by her photo, I would say not pin up pretty, but not bad enough to have the Portland construction gawkers calling the police, for heaven’s sake. They are a hard to please crowd out in Portland. The potbellied construction workers of my hometown of Chicago would think Gen a Venus — and if they did call the police, it would only be to have them join in the chorus of wolf whistles.    

With all that is going on in the economy and in the war on terror, I should not spend too much time on the antics of Earth Friend Gen. However, this blog has now made it a mission to keep you updated on the latest news in nude protesting. After all, someone has to do it.  Maybe I should add to my blog banner head, “All the nudes fit to print.”

I wonder where Gen is these days. Having added another 15 years to her body, I hope she has passed the baton of naked protesting to the GenZ crowd.

What began as organ protests … Ooops! I mean, organic protests have now been institutionalized into yet another left-wing unofficial holiday – an international day of naked bike riding to protest … uh … whatever it is, the left-wing protests.

In Seattle, the naked bikers joined the gay pride celebration – which historically features various levels of nakedness without the support of the mercenary buck-naked bikers.  

The naked protest activists say that their efforts are to raise awareness of biker rights and safe bicycling.  That is not even a good fig-leaf cover.  These folks are vulgar exhibitionists at best and perverts at worst.  Their primary purpose is to show off their dubiously beautiful bodies – with a few notable exceptions — in order to shock people.  They are not the hotties of the 1960s.  Hmm?  Actually, maybe they are and that is the problem.

One of the major complaints is that these folks are parading their nakedness in front of children.  That is just wrong.  I am not a prude, but I have trouble with distinguishing the bikers from the “flashers” who get a sexual kick out of exposing themselves in front of a grade school during recess.

If people go to designated nudist resorts or nude beaches, I have no issue with that.  (Truth be known, my wife and it participated in the custom on that special beach in St. Martin.  Of course, that was when I was much younger and … shall we say … more presentable.  I am now more like that subject of the portly Internet minstrel who sings, “I don’t look good naked anymore”.  Some of those bikers should check it out.  But I digress.)

Some argue that being naked in public is free speech – protected by the First Amendment.  They are making a statement.  Then why not include urinating or defecating in public places or on private property – as appears to be the custom in San Francisco?  (If you wonder why I picked on San Francisco, search the Internet for “San Francisco poop map.”  But again, I digress).

We once had — and enforced — laws against “indecent exposure.”  But that was when we tended to enforce all laws as a matter of principle — and when we had a sense of decency.  The naked biker enthusiasts claim that they are not doing it to be sexual.  Judging from most of their ages and body shapes, I am inclined to accept that caveat.  

As a libertarian-leaning conservative, I believe in maximum freedom – even the freedom to be crude and vulgar.  Consequently, I am not inclined to make offensive behavior illegal, but I do wish our culture had not become so corrupted that it is acceptable to offend a large segment of the American public for no good reason.  And yes, I think peddling their bare asses – among other things – is devoid of both clothing and good purpose.

I still wonder why these nude events are the preferred manner of protest by those on the left.  But if they insist on going around sans clothing for some left-wing cause, they should at least take note of the nudie magazines and offer the public something a bit more appealing.

As part of my research for this commentary, I asked AI, what is so bad about naked biking for an alleged cause?  Here is AI’s final paragraph on the subject.

“The annual naked bike riding is a harmful and unnecessary spectacle that should be stopped. It is not a legitimate or constructive way of expressing one’s views or values. It is not a celebration of freedom or diversity. It is not a harmless or fun activity. It is a disrespectful and irresponsible act that harms public decency, morality, and children’s well-being.”

Wow! A bit harsh, but I tend to agree.

So, there ‘tis.

About The Author

Larry Horist

So,there‘tis… The opinions, perspectives and analyses of Larry Horist Larry Horist is a businessman, conservative writer and political strategist with an extensive background in economics and public policy. Clients of his consulting firm have included such conservative icons as Steve Forbes and Milton Friedman. He has served as a consultant to the Nixon White House and travelled the country as a spokesman for President Reagan’s economic reforms. He has testified as an expert witness before numerous legislative bodies, including the U. S. Congress. Horist has lectured and taught courses at numerous colleges and universities, including Harvard, Northwestern, DePaul universities, Hope College and his alma mater, Knox College. He has been a guest on hundreds of public affairs talk shows, and hosted his own program, “Chicago In Sight,” on WIND radio. Horist was a one-time candidate for mayor of Chicago and served as Executive Director of the City Club of Chicago, where he led a successful two-year campaign to save the historic Chicago Theatre from the wrecking ball. An award-winning debater, his insightful and sometimes controversial commentaries appear frequently on the editorial pages of newspapers across the nation. He is praised by readers for his style, substance and sense of humor. According to one reader, Horist is the “new Charles Krauthammer.” He is actively semi-retired in Boca Raton, Florida where he devotes his time to writing. So, there ‘tis is Horist’s signature sign off.

3 Comments

  1. frank stetson

    Nudity is left wing only? Hmmm. I guess size does matter :>)

    “I am not a prude, but I have trouble with distinguishing the bikers from the “flashers” who get a sexual kick out of exposing themselves in front of a grade school during recess;” uh, I think you are defining prude if you see them unilaterally getting a sexual thrill….. Had taken part in the nude runs on campus in the 70’s, although not a runner. No children present, we were young, hung, and always reading — but sexual thrill? NBL. They lined up with 4 stories on naked bodies in a stairwell, waiting for the door to open to charge basically into the spotlight. Sexual thrill? More like a buffalo stampede, each body nose-to-ass with the body in front following them like train cars running down the track. Sure, afterwards, there was some “hanging out,” if you will, and maybe some bonding —– but doubtful. I mean it’s the last place you want to show attraction, if you know what I mean.

    The story I tell is how we “spotlighted” the run and a group blinded went straight instead of left and suddenly, out of the spotlight, realizing they were alone, became like deer in the headlights, lost, and needing a crowd. It was really funny, but sexual arousal? NBL.

    Bottom line: we are a nation of laws, we believe in being a nation of laws: follow them, and I support your conclusion and AI’s. But you are being prudish, face up to it. If it helps, I call it being polite, but at this point I am even prudish on ads for body stuff. Every time I see the pepto ad, I turn the mental soundtrack to “pop, pop, fizz, etc.” which does not help at all. And the fact that deodorant can be used in that special place may be a innovative breakthrough, but I get it, you don’t have to point, I don’t need diagrams….. Yeah, I am that prudish and it came with age. I just say: have some class. Final bottom line: this is wrong, follow the law, what’s wrong with the cops, they should be setting and making examples, but it’s a nit in the scheme of things. No reason to get excited Larry (pun intended). It is not civilization’s downfall and I am so glad you did not claim: GROOMING. Good for you.

  2. LMS

    I don’t expose my body to anyone else to have to look at. So why should my view or life be distupted by some idiot that doesn’t seem to use the sense they were born with as to what is right and wrong in public?
    If you want to run around naked knock yourself out but don’t expect the rest of us to be interested in your stupidity. There are plenty of nude resorts all over this country.

    I work out everyday for three hours so I have a nice physique but don’t feel a need to have to have people’s acceptance due to an inferiority complex.

    When will people stop being toxic adult children! Apparently more paddling on bare butts was needed. It would be really funny to have people start chasing after them saying they are going pop them on the rear with a towel or have a paddle and say Oh cool a butt to paddle! That will stop those actions quickly!

  3. Sick&Tired

    GOES TO SHOW YOU…….JUST HOW MANY STUPID AND PATHETIC – DUMB ADULTS…..THERE ARE IN THIS COUNTRY……….NOT SURE WHEN….IF EVER…..ALL OF THIS KIND OF GARBAGE WILL STOP……. I DON’T THINK
    IT EVER WILL STOP……THE STUPIDITY IN THIS COUNTRY HAS GONE ON FOR SO LONG AND YOU CAN’T FIX….
    “STUPID”. ! ! ! !

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