In an unprecedented escalation of the war, suspected Russian techs launched a massive sabotage operation in the United States, causing US President Joe Biden – aka the Big Guy – to fall flat on his rear end.
The incident was caught on camera and has sparked widespread speculation that this was a direct assault on the 46th President of the United States, who won with 81 million votes in 2020.
Besides Russia, some suspicion also falls on the Trump campaign for 2024.
As seen in the video footage from Wednesday (June 1st), a perfectly healthy and strong Joe Biden started to walk on a perfectly normal and even-surfaced stage after he delivered a speech to the new graduates of the U.S. Air Force in Colorado.
Suddenly Mr. Biden, who is only 80 years old and fit as a racehorse, lost his balance and fell on the stage ass-first (though some viewers insist his right side landed first, fractions of a second earlier than his ass).
Many in the crowd saw this – while some just were too busy celebrating their graduation, so they missed the Big Guy’s small fall – and gasped.
Three kind-hearted gentlemen quickly came to the assistance of the 46th President and helped him get back on his feet. Mr. Biden then carefully and, of course, bravely, walked to a nearby seat.
But confusion and concern among all those who saw the incident persist as to what possibly could cause this sudden fall in front of the world as the cameras recorded it all.
“There is no logical explanation for this,” says Biden’s physician (and every medical expert agrees with him). “The President is doing as good as Superman on the health front, both physically and mentally. In earth years, he is 80, but in health years, he is 18.”
When asked about the President’s history of losing his way on stages and showing incoherent language with many false memories in his speeches over the past two years, the physician assured that it was nothing unusual and the President was “mostly” healthy – and again, all health experts around the world agree.
The Department of Defense (DOD) and several analysts who have seen the footage are nearly convinced there is one explanation that most reasonably accounts for Mr. Biden’s fall: Vladimir Putin, the Russian president – that is, the Russian Dictator – who has interfered in all the U.S. presidential elections won by Trump.
The DOD says they suspect Russia is using its newly developed MBF technology via Chinese-operated balloons flying over or close to America almost routinely without being detected by American radars.
“What the Make Biden Fall, or MBF, technology does is harvests gravitational waves from interstellar space,” says a high-ranking defense analyst on the condition of anonymity. “This energy can be redirected to create ripples in any surface, but particularly surfaces like stairs, stages, and biking tracks on which Mr. Biden climbs, walks, or rides a bike.”
The analyst said that they are sure to about 99 percent of the confidence level that the Russian dictatorial regime used the MBF technology to make Biden look old and weak and thus stop him from winning in 2024 or even getting him outed from the oval office via the 25th Amendment.
The Affiliated Press (AF) reached out to Biden’s office for a comment, but VP Kamala Harris instead answered the call.
She said she was there “by accident,” the President is busy with some important discussion, so she is answering calls temporarily.
When asked whether Mr. Biden’s fall on the stage in Colorado had anything to do with the 25th Amendment, VP Harris burst into uncontrollable laughter for five minutes.
On getting sober again, Harris said, “That’s not even a question, but space is a wonderful place, and gravitational waves are fascinating to watch, especially at night with goggles on.”
When the AF team tried to contact the Russian foreign ministry for a comment, they were told that the ministry is closed because everyone was at church praying for Mr. Biden’s life and health, especially for his life.
Defense analysts, speaking on condition of anonymity, believe that praying at the church for Biden’s long life is part of the big Russia conspiracy against the Biden administration since a long life for Biden would mean more opportunities for Putin to continue using his evil MBF technology against the 46th President, who is fit as a racehorse, strong as Superman, and won in 2020 with 81 million votes.
Disclaimer: For all the fact-checkers who flunked their junior highs before being employed at fact-checking, this is a work for satire. To see the meaning of “satire,” please consult a standard Webster, Cambridge, or another dictionary.