Glorified Gossip: A Case Study on American News

If you happen to have been following my own various works on PBP (granting the admittedly massive and hopelessly optimistic assumption I’m someone worth your following) you might have noticed a distinct theme, or should I say lacking theme; while I’ll certainly cover the politics of America there’s a distinct gap in my writings when it comes to pure internal partisan squabbles. This general area of news is, of course, epitomized by ‘RussiaGate’, and the legion of endlessly ‘breaking’ story on the likes of CNN and MSNBC for years now.

The reason for the dearth of stories in the area is fairly simple; the news regarding the issues and subject matter that would generally qualify as hyper-partisan is about as reliable of ‘news’ as middle school gossip. So, in a curious little delve into a story that displays exactly what I mean. Let’s explore the whimsical world of deputy attorney general Rod J. Rosenstein.

Round 1: Rosenstein Rises

The tumultuous tale of Rod, of course, begins with the Trump administration, namely its butting heads with an FBI set on a path of linking Trump and top officials to Russian collusion. Of course, Rosenstein wasn’t actually all that publicly involved in the matter, rather making various bureaucratic plays behind the scenes, if the incredibly reliable news is to be believed (it’s not).

Anyhow, the saga of the Rod begins with a different controversial bureaucrat altogether; the now notorious former FBI director James Comey. See, apparently (and by all means take that ‘apparently’ literally as there are no facts here) Rosenstein’s writings were a cornerstone of the case Trump levied against Comey in his firing; namely in the form of a memo breaking down Comey’s various incompetencies.

Of course, at this point, the media circus was abuzz with lambasting accusations of a ‘Russian Puppet Regime’ with the firing of an FBI director they had just finished lambasting himself… apparently, Comey was back in their graces after being accused of handing Trump the election 10 seconds earlier. Rosenstein and co were now the enemy.

Round 2: Rod the Redeemer (or Ruiner… depends on who you ask)

See, apparently our lad Rod wasn’t too pleased with his memo explaining the failings of James Comey’s stewardship of the FBI being used to… well reprimand him for his failed stewardship of the FBI. While I’m not sure what Rod was expecting it to be considered for I guess it was enough to put him back in the graces of the media; hey whoever’s against Trump.

Alright folks, here’s where Rosenstein really takes a 180 to become a hero of the left. In the wake of Comey’s dismissal by Trump, something our hero Rod unwittingly found his work at the center of, Rosenstein set about appointing his redeemer; the now infamous Robert ‘wait and see’ Mueller.

As it were, Democrats apparently got enough time in Rosenstein’s ear such that our hapless hero was inspired to appoint a special counsel. Mueller, the new even bigger hero of all who hate Trump, was set to the task of discovering what nefarious reasons could have inspired Trump to discard Comey; with Rosenstein’s original criticisms of Comey (why he was fired…) now apparently water under the bridge.

Round 3: He’s wearing a wire!… or wait maybe not

Fair warning – this is essentially where the story falls to shambles. But hey, it wasn’t all that cohesive to start with…

So here we are, with Rod Rosenstein quite literally commissioning an investigation into the same fellow he had originally decried as incompetent. Of course, for the ‘them vs. us’ media such a fence rider has proven problematic; with the same sites and programs praising him after having demanded his head and vice versa.

But, where things get wild, and dare I say actually newsworthy, is the saga of Rod’s wire. See, Rosenstein apparently had to do more to rectify the firing of the man he had validated firing. And incredibly our hero’s dedication to the direction of the wind is actually rather extreme with Rosenstein offering to wear a wire with President Trump.

However, thanks to our fantastically useless news we actually have no real idea what’s going on with this. While you’d think a top attorney general official threatening to try to incriminate the President would be a generation defining story, apparently the pathetic websites we’re forced to regard as ‘news’ can’t even keep the facts straight.

Conclusion: Rod where art thou?

I’ll leave you with this epitomizing example of what I’ve been rambling on about thanks to our laughable peer, the Huffington Post. See, HuffPo has been taking media idiocy to the next level by skipping straight to contradicting *itself*.

Yes, seriously. See, during the saga of Rod, HuffPo decided it was done pretending to be news altogether. Was Rosenstein ‘joking’ (hilarious) about the wiretap? HuffPo says yes.

Wait… but wasn’t Rosenstein serious about that? HuffPo also says yes; whichever helps you hate Trump more.

Of course, for those of us who *gasp* waited for the facts to sort themselves out we’re coming to learn the pathetic middle school gossip is rooted in what it always is, petty, childish bickering. Turns out Rod and FBI squabble like 6^th grade girls, and the news ate it up like peers in a schoolyard and regurgitated it unto the public ensuring we all became just a little more ignorant…