A “Mental Health Essential”?
As the holiday season approaches, many families look forward to gathering with loved ones. But according to Yale psychiatrist Dr. Amanda Calhoun, some should consider skipping out on relatives who voted for Donald Trump. In a recent interview on MSNBC’s The ReidOut with Joy Reid, Calhoun suggested that liberals—and especially those from vulnerable communities—might benefit from “setting boundaries” by entirely avoiding any holiday gathering where they may encounter Trump supporters. She even went as far as to say that this could be “essential” for maintaining one’s mental health.
Dr. Calhoun, chief psychiatry resident at Yale, discussed how this strategy could be a way for liberals to cope with their frustration following Trump’s reelection. Speaking with Reid, she argued that if a family member’s political stance feels like an attack on one’s rights or livelihood, it’s okay to tell them directly that they won’t be attending any shared events.
PBP Editor: Perhaps a better way is to grow up and be an adult?
“If you are going into a situation where you have family members, where you have close friends who you know have voted in ways that are against you… it’s completely fine to not be around those people and to tell them why,” Calhoun advised. For Dr. Calhoun, the message is clear: family bonds may need to take a back seat to political boundaries this holiday season.
PBP Editor: Think about that ” family bonds may need to take a back seat to political boundaries.” Someone needs to check her credentials…
What is Calhoun’s reasoning? She pointed to reports of increased mental health crises among vulnerable populations in the wake of Trump’s reelection. Citing a recent surge in crisis calls from LGBTQ+ youth to The Trevor Project—a rise by 700% since Trump’s election—Calhoun suggested that some individuals, especially within the LGBTQ+ community, might need to protect their mental health by separating from Trump-voting family members. Calhoun even suggested that sharing the reason for this separation—explicitly linking it to the family member’s vote—would be important to “take space for me.”
For some, this advice might be refreshing, even empowering. Calhoun’s words resonate with those who feel personally attacked by Trump’s policies, including LGBTQ+ individuals, women, and other minority groups. Host Joy Reid pointed to recent statements from Trump allies that many considered derogatory. Reid mentioned how J.D. Vance’s reference to “taking out the trash” was perceived as a degrading remark toward women, especially Black women like Vice President Kamala Harris. To Dr. Calhoun, avoiding Trump-voting family members may feel like self-defense against a world that appears increasingly hostile.
However, not everyone is buying this advice, and for good reason. For many, the idea of cutting off family members over political disagreements—especially during the holiday season—seems extreme. Critics argue that Dr. Calhoun’s approach not only divides families but also threatens to deepen political divides across the country. Social media reactions to her comments were swift, with many voicing disbelief and disapproval. One X (formerly Twitter) user claimed, “She has to have mental health issues herself if she thinks it’s reasonable to tell people to alienate their own family.” Another user commented, “Imagine choosing politics over family. This advice just puts gasoline on an already roaring fire of division.”-
Beyond social media, other prominent voices on MSNBC questioned the strategy of isolating family over political differences. Joe Scarborough, host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, argued that liberals have increasingly lost touch with working-class Americans, especially by focusing on cultural issues like immigration and transgender policies. Scarborough criticized the Democratic Party for being “afraid” to address these topics directly, suggesting that this hesitancy leaves room for Trump’s rhetoric to sway voters. Scarborough’s words highlight the broader disconnect some perceive between the Democratic base and mainstream America, where such aggressive boundary-setting with family members might seem out of touch.
Despite this backlash, Dr. Calhoun held firm, maintaining that personal well-being and self-protection take precedence over obligatory family gatherings. She explained, “There’s this societal push that if someone is your family, they are entitled to your time. And I think the answer is absolutely not.” For her, being around Trump-voting relatives could be mentally exhausting or even harmful for those who feel their rights are under threat.
But where is the line between healthy boundaries and divisive isolation? The suggestion to avoid family members because of their voting choices raises questions about how much political ideology should affect personal relationships. If everyone followed this advice, the result could be an America where political allegiance determines who we are willing to spend time with, rather than shared family history or mutual love and support.
Calhoun’s recommendation has also intensified debates around freedom of choice and respect for differing opinions. For many Americans, including those who voted for Trump, the notion that a single vote should lead to family alienation is troubling. After all, isn’t the purpose of gathering at the holidays to share love and understanding, even amid differences? Dr. Calhoun’s suggestion, some say, threatens the very spirit of unity that the holiday season promotes.
Moreover, critics argue that advice like Calhoun’s overlooks how critical open conversations are to healing political rifts. With many families already strained by political divides, some feel that now, more than ever, is a time for respectful dialogue—not further separation. By telling people to avoid their Trump-supporting relatives, Calhoun may be encouraging more polarization, rather than helping families bridge their differences.
In the end, the question remains: should family members who disagree politically simply avoid one another? Dr. Calhoun suggests that mental health could depend on it, particularly for those whose rights or identities may feel threatened. However, the incredulity and backlash her comments received highlight a different perspective: that such advice may only add fuel to an already heated national divide. For some, setting boundaries might mean avoiding the political debates altogether, keeping family gatherings focused on shared experiences rather than divisive politics. In the eyes of her critics, Dr. Calhoun’s advice risks turning a season of togetherness into a season of estrangement.
PBP Editor: This is one of the more extreme response from liberals, go ahead and break up your family rather than accept their political views. If I were Yale, I would be firing this person and completely disassociating from her.