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I’m A Senior And Voting For Bernie Because I Want To Go Back To School!

I’m A Senior And Voting For Bernie Because I Want To Go Back To School!

Who doesn’t want something for nothing, especially if that nothing means I don’t have to pay for it myself? (More on that below.) And who’s to say that at age 62, I’m too old to go back to school, expand my knowledge and skills set, and better my income and life situation? (I may be getting old and senile, but that doesn’t necessarily make me stupid.)

And it gets even better, because Sanders’ and his fellow Dems’ plans for free college also includes tuition-free technical training, so I can also study to be a plumber, a butcher, and I think cowboy might also be eligible. They haven’t released all of the details yet but I’m crossing my fingers, because at the moment, I have my heart set on cowboy. I’m pretty sure they’ve already included musical training like writing Hip-Hop, but no thanks.

I googled the Democrats’ plans for details on my free education, but most of the information I found focused on their student debt forgiveness for those already attending college, or those already graduated , or those already dropped out. It appears that their main focus is getting votes from those who don’t want to pay their bills, and not necessarily on those who actually want to get to work and study.

Be that as it may, what did I find?

Well, no details on required high school performance and grades for qualifying. No details on qualifying areas of study (that’s why I keep hoping for that cowboy inclusion), and no details on age restrictions. Which means, according to all of their plans, even an old fart like me can get in! After all, do the Dems condone age discrimination!?

All of this, including the student debt forgiveness part (just a trillion plus bucks they estimate), is supposed to be paid for through a “wealth” tax, Bernie’s plan in particular referred to as a Wall Street tax. In other words, Bernie looks at Wall Street and only sees the evil rich; he doesn’t see the savings and investments of millions of regular Americans working their asses off at regular jobs, not to mention their pension funds, as if he doesn’t have a clue about how Wall Street actually works.

Seriously, what is this guy talking about? Hasn’t he learned anything from the error of his ways after his despicable support for the Socialist regimes of Venezuela and elsewhere? What does he think Wall Street actually is and does!?

His free higher education plan would be optional for the states, which as we all know, means it eventually won’t be optional. According to him, the Feds will contribute two-for-one dollars of State costs to pay for this free education, but it will not include paying for fancy football stadiums. Taking one look at Bernie and knowing his biography, you can understand why he has a problem with sports and school spirit.

His plan also places a special emphasis on tribal schools, Native American tribes who already receive unimaginable income through their casinos, unimaginable welfare assistance, and have achieved unimaginably nothing with all of that to better their peoples. Plus, what Tribal schools!? No details on building new ones, and no details on those few that are maybe out there.

I’m a long-time registered Republican, but there’s still time for me to switch to Democrat for the primaries, because I want Bernie to come out on top, at least in the primaries.

And as a typical Democrat, I won’t care about those Native Americans, or about those regressive taxes on Wall Street. I just care about me, me, me… and my free cowboy education. And as Bruce Willis would say, “Yippee Kai Yay, Mother F****R!”

I just hope that my Depends will fit under my jeans and chaps

Editor’s note:  I want to retrain as an astronaut. Is this paid for?  Readers please tell us what training you think Bernie’s plan should pay for in the comments below.

About The Author


  1. Cliff

    By Voting For Bernie you will get schooled on how socialism steals your life and destroys your country.

    • Stanley Steamer


    • John Zoe

      I think opuntunist grandpa Bernie wants to cash in on uncle Joe’s S. Playbook of Ways of making money off the ignorant. In all my years of heading towards time and having acquired plenty of it, I noticed lies and utopian dreams are easier to sell than motivation and work.

    • Siggy

      You said that right cliff. He is way down no one wants that piece of shit for a President. While your looking shit up on line look up socialism that’s Bernie forsure and if you believe him you are one stupid person. Medicare for all pay for your education and he didn’t say education for seniors. lol. He already said he would up our tax a lot to pay for insurance for the illegals and all the other shit.

  2. Dan Bohnd

    I can see why you want something, like education, for free, but you either need a GED or you are a fool if you elect a man who can only guarantee (?) something you desire. You have not considered that Bernie is a fool and strongly promotes Left-wing Liberalism (Socialism, which, at 100%, is a fools agenda.

    • Stanley Steamer

      I’m confused.
      Is the author’s irony TOTALLY lost on you?

      • Stanley Steamer

        Wait. I think I understand.

        You weren’t addressing the author.


  3. Patricia J Cochran

    Amen to that Cliff. I’m pretty old and social security doesn’t pay me enough, so I think I’ll have to vote for the guy or gal that’s going to give me the most every month, plus my college education and I’m sure I can squeeze some rent and utilities out of it somewhere too. LOL Nice article. Thanks for the brief moment of “sanity”.

  4. Eric

    Geez, what horsedung!

  5. JJ

    Does anyone have a web-site address that tells people how to apply for free technical training? I want to get the process going before the rush starts.

  6. Eric

    I am a senior and I paid for my school. So why should pay for yours?

  7. Patricia Cochran

    Stanley. So glad someone else see’s the irony and humor. Thought I was losing my mind. LOL

    • Stanley Steamer

      I just realized he wasn’t addressing the author. He was referring to people that believe in this stuff, but because of how he structured his post, it came across as otherwise.

  8. Lyudmila

    If you are going to vote for Bernie Sanders, then it’s too early for school. First you need to go to kindergarten.

  9. Tom

    By the time you get out of school we will be in a deep recession like the rest of the socialist countries and there will not be any work for you. You should learn Chinese.

  10. Phil in TX

    Promises, promises. That’s all the Demotards can deliver. If you believe them then you really do need to go back to school. The school where they teach reality. Phil in TX

  11. Frank S.

    Frank S., He/Him. San Antonio, TX. Now I’m feeling triggered and need a brand new stuffed animal I can squeeze to make me feel better. (Oh, that’s another good reason to go back to school–Safe Areas with stuffed toys–or will my two Master’s Degrees work disqualify me? Surely they won’t hold that against me, because then I’d have to claim I’m a victim and that I’m being discriminated against. Damn it, I’m a white male too! I’m screwed before I can even apply. Where’s my toy?!) I am so disgusted with these Democrat candidate morons and their idiotic plans to buy votes with taxpayer’s money. Surely there’s still enough Americans with enough common sense to see through all this drivel. God help us all!

    • R C

      If you can wright your name you are over Qualified.

    • David Barron

      Frank S, Here’s your answer. First you need a sex change, next change your name to a Spanish one, then put on Black Face, say you identify as an American Indian, put a pillow under your shirt to look pregnant, refuse to speak English, give a street crossing as an address because you are homeless, get a same sex partner, babble as though you were insane, and you too can become a United States Congress Man/woman/person or Senator!

  12. A Grady

    Hey can I train as a Madam I hear they make a lot of money so I can leave it to my kids to pay for Bernie’s screw up. I’m really excited I think I still have a few good years left. Although that cowboy training sure sounds good. Lots of fresh air and singing around the camp fire.

    • David Barron

      And as a side benefit you can pick and choose who you want to get screwed by instead of Sanders.

  13. Kurt Walker

    I do believe this is the biggest bucket of BS I’ve ever read on here.

    • David Barron

      I think you meant to say that Sanders is pushing his biggest bucket of BS ever dumped on the USA.

  14. Kate

    Hey, Maybe Bernie could start with a free College Math class for the 13th graders. Apparently none of them learned Math in Free taxpayer paid High School. They can’t even give change at the check out.

  15. Kurt Walker

    I’ll buy the free college if some of you free loading sobs would be willing to pay the debts you already have run up. Even Stacy Adams, who ran for governor of Georgia had a 200 million dollar debt while she was running. And she hasn’t paid one penny toward the debt from the beginning of her “schooling”. Right now this student debt, that few are making any effort to repay, is over one trillion dollars that is being dumped on tax payers.