<p>I awoke this morning channeling Marc Antony’s speech – at least as Shakespeare penned it.</p>
<p><em>Friends, Americans </em>and<em> countrymen (and women, too), lend me your ears;</em><br />
<em>I have not come to politically bury Nancy Pelosi, but to praise her.</em><br />
(Okay, I reversed the sentiment of the speech, but this is just a parody, so get over it.)<br />
<em>The evil that politicians do live after them;</em><br />
<em>The good is oft interred with their bones;</em><br />
<em>So let it be with Nancy.</em><br />
<em>The noble politicians hath told you Nancy was ambitious;</em><br />
<em>But the noble press hath told you that Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>She hath borne a noble bleeding heart for the many furloughed government workers;</em><br />
<em>Yet, she provided not an inch of </em>border<em> wall to bring them back to work.</em><br />
<em>But Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>Nancy suffers pain for those working without paychecks;</em><br />
<em>For sure, she would not have the President add one more border agent to end the shutdown.</em><br />
<em>Yet, Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>Nancy feared for the impact of the shutdown on the American economy;</em><br />
<em>Though she wouldst not purchase a single drone to protect the border.</em><br />
<em>But Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>Her heart goeth out to the Dreamers of uncertain futures;</em><br />
<em>And yet she bravely refuses to assuage their fears and futures.</em><br />
<em>Yes, Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>The lady speaks out against illegal drugs that stupefy so much of the populace,</em><br />
<em>But sees no reason to defend from that commerce at our borders.</em><br />
<em>Still, Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>She mourns with the families of the victims of illegal aliens,</em><br />
<em>But will not expend a penny to prevent such heinous acts in the future.</em><br />
<em>And yet, Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>She claims the proposed measures to secure the border are immoral,</em><br />
<em>But she blessed our society with walls in the past that were deemed moral.</em><br />
<em>Because Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>Nancy sayeth that she and her colleagues will further secure the border,</em><br />
<em>But has neither history nor plan to establish it.</em><br />
<em>But Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>Nancy hath been called a woman of great courage;</em><br />
<em>And yet she dares not enter the oracle of negotiation.</em><br />
<em>Still, Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p><em>O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,</em><br />
<em>And men (and women) have lost their reason. Bear with me;</em><br />
<em>My heart is in the House with Nancy,</em><br />
<em>For Nancy is an honorable woman.</em></p>
<p>So, there ‘tis.</p>