Site icon The Punching Bag Post

HORIST: ‘Twas the week before Christmas …

<p>In the midst of this holiday season&comma; I found myself channeling Clement Clarke Moore and his epic holiday poem&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyQuote;Twas the week before Christmas when all through the House<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Impeachment was stirring&comma; with considerable joust&semi;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>The Articles were prepared by the chairmen unfair&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>In the hopes that Pelosi&comma; no vote would she spare&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>The members assembled all smug at their desks&semi;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>While visions of Trump gave Democrats no rest&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>The Speaker with gavel and Schiff at his post&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>They addled our brains with their long-winded roast&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>When off to the right there arose such a clatter&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>I ran to the chamber to see what’s the matter&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Away to the gallery&comma; I flew like a flash&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>I tore open the doors with a loud sounding crash&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>The lights of the chamber seem dim and so low&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Giving an ominous look to the people below&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>When what to my wondering eyes did appear&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>A miniature Nadler I saw from the rear&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>He was speaking to another in such somber riff&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>And I knew in a moment it was his friend shifty Schiff&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>To your seats now assemble&comma; I heard Pelosi proclaim&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>She gaveled and shouted and called each by their name&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Now Omar&excl; Now Clyburn&excl; Now Dingell and Pascrell<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Come Shalala&excl; Come Lujan&excl; Come Waters and Swalwell&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>To the front of the chamber&comma; to your seats in this hall&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Now vote away&excl; Vote away&excl; Vote away all&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>To their seats in the chamber each member they flew&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>With the hands full of papers&comma; and those Articles&comma; too&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>And then in a twinkling&comma; the call of the roll&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>With the secretary of the House taking the toll&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>As I drew in my head and kept gazing about&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Down came the gavel with Pelosi’s great clout&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>She was dressed in all black&comma; from her head to her foot&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>As the scheme of her caucus had now taken root<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>With the pretense of solemnity&comma; she stood at the podium<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>With confidence in the outcome&comma; despite its odium<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>A bundle of votes&comma; she drew from the floor<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Of the number she needed&comma; there were quite a few more&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Her eyes&comma; how they squinted&comma; her lips pursed so tight<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>You could tell that the Speaker was ready to fight&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>When the votes were all counted and their deed was then done&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Madam Speaker had warned against any expression of fun&period; <&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>With a wink of her eye and a frown on her head<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>She gave warning to her members – a warning they dread&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>The Republicans stayed loyal to the positions they held&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>But four Democrats protested by refusing to meld&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>While shaking a finger at those who oppose&comma;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>She picked up the gavel and in her hand it arose&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Banging on the rostrum&comma; she declared with great might&comma;<br &sol;>&NewLine;That Impeachment is accomplished on this cold winter night&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>So&comma; there &OpenCurlyQuote;tis&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

Exit mobile version