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HORIST: Impeachment as baseball

HORIST: Impeachment as baseball

The Democrat Donkeys – being coached by the controversial Adam Schiff – are halfway through their pre-season warm up.  The Donkeys will enter the real game season – when they will face the Republican Elephants — and Schiff will be turning over the coaching job to Jerry “The Munchkin” Nadler over at Judiciary Stadium.

In a break with tradition, Schiff separated the pre-season play into two parts – the first being a series of out-of-sight drills to check out the team before the fans see them.  He has now entered the second round of pre-season play that will be out on the open field where the press and the public get their first glimpse of the team.

During his closed-door practice, Schiff assured Donkeys’ fans that he had some really outstanding players.  He predicted it would be a season of sluggers who would easily crush the Elephants.  He bragged that the Elephants would be so badly defeated that they would have to kick out their team manager, Donald Trump.  So far, however, the Elephants are expressing confidence in the team’s front office and their line-up.

Once on the practice field, the Donkeys did not live up to expectations.  Their lead-off star sluggers – George Kent and William Taylor – had trouble getting the ball out of the infield.  In fact, they struck out more than they connected.  There were even some sports reporters who wondered why these guys were even on the team.

Undeterred, Coach Schiff promised that the next batter would restore Donkeys fan confidence.  Marie Yovanovitch was the first female on the team.  He and his team praised Yovanovitch as a great person with a wonderful personal narrative – someone who knows the game.  Schiff also assured fans that she could also hit the long ball.

Schiff seemed to be hoping that the pitchers would be a little less aggressive with those fastballs and curveballs when facing a lady player.  He was right, most of the pitches were over-the-plate lobs.  However, even then she could hardly connect with the ball.  For sure, she had a nice swing, but it was one strike-out after another.

She later complained that her poor performance was due to some Republican team members saying she was not the great player Schiff had promised.  She said she felt intimidated by comments from the Elephants – especially team manager Trump. To be sure, Yovanovitch seemed to be a great person with an academic knowledge of the game, but she failed to hit the ball.

With the Donkeys looking weak in the early days of the pre-season play, what is next?

According to Schiff, Taylor told him of a guy who might be able to hit the ball out of the park – a rooky named David Holmes.   Holmes apparently had told Taylor that he, Holmes, had overheard the Elephants’ coach explain their strategy.  In other words, Holmes has the goods.  Still, the kid is not a proven slugger and does not seem to have the stuff to hit the ball any better than Kent, Taylor or Yovanovitch – and it is not even certain Holmes wants to playball with the Donkeys.

Schiff is still predicting a winning season.  But fans remember how many times he had predicted a winning season when Robert Mueller was supposed to have signed up for the Donkeys’ team.  When that did not happen, the Donkeys’ team fell into the cellar.

Things are going so bad for the Donkeys at the moment, there is speculation that the team owner, Nancy Pelosi, may pull them off the field before they commit to season play.  She said they could take the team to the World Series over on the Senate side, but they would then face the Elephants on their own home turf. “We could wind up being trampled by those pachyderms.” Pelosi feared.

The fact that the Donkeys were not looking good on the field did not dampen the enthusiasm of their cheerleading squad composed of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortex, Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar.  Tlaib was sanctioned by the League for her cheer calling on the Donkeys to beat the “mother****r.

Well, it looks like pre-season play has a few more innings – but so far, the Donkeys are not living up to expectation.  They may not even get to the World Series – and if they go that far, they will be up against big odds.

So, there ‘tis.

About The Author

Larry Horist

So,there‘tis… The opinions, perspectives and analyses of Larry Horist Larry Horist is a businessman, conservative writer and political strategist with an extensive background in economics and public policy. Clients of his consulting firm have included such conservative icons as Steve Forbes and Milton Friedman. He has served as a consultant to the Nixon White House and travelled the country as a spokesman for President Reagan’s economic reforms. He has testified as an expert witness before numerous legislative bodies, including the U. S. Congress. Horist has lectured and taught courses at numerous colleges and universities, including Harvard, Northwestern, DePaul universities, Hope College and his alma mater, Knox College. He has been a guest on hundreds of public affairs talk shows, and hosted his own program, “Chicago In Sight,” on WIND radio. Horist was a one-time candidate for mayor of Chicago and served as Executive Director of the City Club of Chicago, where he led a successful two-year campaign to save the historic Chicago Theatre from the wrecking ball. An award-winning debater, his insightful and sometimes controversial commentaries appear frequently on the editorial pages of newspapers across the nation. He is praised by readers for his style, substance and sense of humor. According to one reader, Horist is the “new Charles Krauthammer.” He is actively semi-retired in Boca Raton, Florida where he devotes his time to writing. So, there ‘tis is Horist’s signature sign off.


  1. Phillip Auxt


  2. Johnny B

    Lets all just face the facts, From the beginning all of the so called “polls” the media predicted Trump would not win the presidential election and the Dems were Certain that “the Hillary” would be elected into office, BOOM, they were proven wrong by the general public which totally upset the majority of the Democrats and most of the big media so the games began. It is so sad and unfortunate both the democrats and the media are all acting like spoiled little brats on the playground that didn’t get their way, Not to mention totally embarrassing for all of America.
    The US is the laughing stock of the world. This all needs to STOP and our politicians need to go to work and be productive for America, the rest of us working people are expected to perform each and every day we are at work and if we don’t our employers have every right to fire us for our incompetence. How do we fire the majority of democrats that are NOT doing what they promised those who voted them into office? Our whole election system needs to be overhauled, it shouldn’t be about how much money you can raise for which ever side you are on, democrat or republican. I truly believe our major media profits hugely by taking a particular side, STOP, Report the news as it is, Not what you are being told to report.
    Also, I know there are a lot of good politicians in office but unfortunately they have become yes men and women of which ever side they are on, if they don’t they will be bullied out by those causing all of the problems we currently have going on. Step up, Speak out, if the Bully’s don’t like it let them come try to bully you, I can assure you that most of America will be by your side and if you still lose, So be it, Move on and be proud you stood up to them Like the rest of us hard working Americans have to do all the time.
    And my final thoughts, There have been several presidents I may not have voted for or liked but once they were elected into office I respected them and hoped they could do some good for all. “PRESIDENT” Trump IS our Elected president, Respect that by calling him President Trump, Not Donald, Not Trump. I am not saying he is perfect, but NO ONE IS, Leave him alone and allow him do more good things for us instead of finding any stupid thing you can to drag him thru the mud for his 4 years in office, no matter what you think you are trying to get accomplished by wasting everyone’s time while he is office we all WILL see the good things he has done so for our country and the world. GROW UP Democrats.

    • Knobby

      Jonnie B: I like your closing remarks.

      Not respecting the outcome of an election is what we expect from lesser-developed countries where the respect for the rule of law is not a bedrock principle – as we here in the USA have come to expect. Those who cannot respect and abide by the election outcome are showing us they are clearly NOT patriots.

      There are parallels between the 1860 election of Abraham Lincoln and the 2016 election of President Trump. Both election winners were Republicans, and both were ruthlessly smeared by the Democrats and the media following the election. In 1860 the Democrats controlled the slave-owning/big money/exploitive South. In 2016 the Democrats control the socialist/big money/exploitive East and West coasts. Both times the election win came from the industrial/farming/merchant areas of the country. Both Presidents faced extremely difficult situations and did the best they could with the information and resources they had at the time. Monday morning quarterbacks (or pitchers, to extend the theme) heckled them both relentlessly at every turn.
      Lincoln won his second term in 1864, and was soon shot in the back of the head by an alcoholic out-of-work actor while out at a show with his wife.
      Hopefully, President Trump will win in 2020. Let us hope that the parallels end at that point. Lincoln did not have the benefit of 24/7 protection by the Secret Service.

  3. Jeanette Kelley

    Johnny B,

    AMEN to everything wrote above! I just wish more Americans
    were as decent & well written as you are!

    I didn’t Vote for President Obama either time, but when he
    won, we didn’t care for him one bit or what he did to our
    Beloved Country, but we sucked it up and realized this
    is what America wanted at that time. He was still the
    President of America and you didn’t seen any of us out
    in the streets and doing what these crazy leftest on the
    streets and in Congress are doing to our Pro American
    President Donald J. Trump today!

    We really have to pray for our President & his family ,
    as there are truly EVIL FORCES in this country trying
    to destroy him!

    God Bless our President, and we pray he will win reelection
    in 2020!