Call it fake news … propaganda … or whatever … but FOX News’ Charlie Kirk made an egregious statement about an iconic American food – the hot dog. It was not National Hot Dog Day – which is the third Wednesday in July – but “Fox and Friends” featured a segment on the popular wiener.
As a person who analyzes news and shares my opinions, I well understand that opinions can vary. But some things one can express with a high degree of certainty – and hot dogs is one of them.
I love hot dogs – have as long as I can recall. I eat them several times a month. I consider them nature’s most perfect food – next to classic thin crust, square-cut Chicago pizza. (To tell the truth, there are very few offerings in the food chain I dislike, but hot dogs and pizza top the list of favorites).
So, what did Kirk do to raise my ire? During an outdoor segment of “Fox and Friends” Kirk said he likes a traditional hot dog WITH KETCHUP. I am a very tolerant person. I understand that some folks may enjoy a variety of ways to eat their hot dogs. After all, it is a free country. But Kirk said “traditional.” Whoa! While I have enjoyed a variety of hot dogs – never a bad one (except those anemic things they call hot dogs in Rochester, New York and one I painfully consumed in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina), there is only one traditional hot dog.
There are many good hot dog varieties, but there is only one state-of-the-art wiener. Only one that can be called “traditional”. It is commonly known as “the Chicago dog” – and the ingredients and preparation are very specific. It starts with Vienna brand all beef hot dog on a Rosen poppyseed bun (steamed) … yellow mustard … Kelly green relish … chopped onions … two sports peppers … slices of tomato … a dill pickle spear … and a sprinkling of celery salt. (As seen in the photo above).
The preparation of the Chicago dog is so precise that one need not order by individual condiments. You just say, “Chicago dog” or “Chicago style” wherever good dogs are served.
There can be some minor accommodations to personal preferences – such as dark green relish or regular table salt. It is okay to substitute an Oscar Mayer dog or even a Nathan’s dog when a pure beef Vienna Wiener is not available. Regardless, one never adulterates the dog with ketchup.
In Chicago, the ketchup ban is serious business. I grew up with hot dogs from Jimmy’s – one of the Windy City’s more famous hot dog emporiums. It is basically a triangular shack with no seating – but long lines of hungry customers.
On the walls are signs stating that the owner will not put ketchup on a hot dog. Symbolically, there are images of ketchup bottles with the red circle and slash.
I recall a time when those who requested ketchup were handed packets of the red condiment and told by the owner not to put it on the hot dog while still on his property. (You can see how serious Chicago is at protecting the perfection of its signature dog).
Jimmy’s dogs also came with a small bag of large floppy greasy fries – heavily salted. (I know, I know. Pure poison. But so much better than those hollow Styrofoam things you get at today’s fast food outlets.)
Getting the classic Chicago hot dog is not easy where I live in south Florida. A Chicago friend and I have to drive more than12 miles to dine at the only place in the region that serves the classic Chicago dog – but it’s worth it.
As far as Charlie Kirk is concerned, I am a very forgiving person. And I will pray for his enlightenment. And bon appétit to all you serious hot dog lovers.
So, there ‘tis.