5 Hypothetical Presidents Who Would Make You Miss Obama
Some people were just not meant to be president. Some people were just not meant to be “normal.” The presidencies of these people would be disastrous for the U.S. If any of these celebs became president, it would probably spell the end of our country as we know it. We could face complete and total anarchy, or a special police force who makes sure everyone brushes their teeth twice daily. We could see our men ordered to start wearing skirts, or our women forbidden from wearing anything, depending on who’s running the show. One thing is for certain- while likely short-lived and chaotic these presidencies would be absolutely hilarious and perhaps the most entertaining thing our nation has ever known.
This YouTube “star” is known for wearing bright green lipstick and recording herself doing strange and stupid things such as bathing in a tub of Fruit Loops and milk for attention. (Yes, she was eating the cereal while she was in there.) Her stunts got her into the East Room of the White House to interview the current president, but we don’t want to know what would happen if she was allowed in there for any other purpose. In fact, we’re not even sure she should have been allowed to even interview the president, considering that she offered Obama a tube of green lipstick “for [his] first wife.” She later tweeted “I sorry xoxo” to Michelle Obama. Plus, if the way she talked to the president is any indication of the way she would talk as the president, we’d hear lines like, “Raul Castro ‘puts the “dic” in “dictator”” during the State of the Union. (That was an actual quote.)
Vermin Love Supreme (Yep, real name.)
The crazy part is that this guy is actually running. Obviously, he’s not going to get anywhere, but he has officially filed with the FEC. Vermin Supreme is easily recognized by the boot he wears on his head, the giant toothbrush he carries, and apparently wearing five ties at once. He does all of this while running for U.S. president and mayor in a wide variety of cites…repeatedly and unsuccessfully. Last election cycle, he campaigned on a platform of “Zombie Apocalypse Awareness” and promised a free pony for every American if elected. That was also the year some university students accidentally let him into the “Lesser-Known Democratic Candidates Presidential Forum,” where he “glitterbombed” a fellow candidate. For the 2016 campaign, he’s running as an anarchist, but he would pass a law that requires everyone to brush their teeth.
The Supreme Leader of North Korea, laughingstock of the world, would be a terrible (but hilarious!) POTUS. If you think some of the crap our current government tries to tell us is bad, try this kid. He once told his people that their astronauts had just completed an hours-long round trip to the sun, making North Korea the first country to land on the sun. Then he showed off some “sun artifacts” that he had most likely found in the back yard five minutes before the press conference. He clipped an article from satirical U.S. paper “The Onion” declaring him the “sexiest man alive” and passed it off as fact. Probably the only reason North Koreans can keep a straight face during his “announcements” is because to fall the ground laughing hysterically would mean certain death. At least if he were our president, those two goofball reporters wouldn’t have had to travel so far to assassinate him.
We don’t have to speculate much on what her presidency would be like- she appeared on the David Letterman show and told him ten ways the country would be different if she were president. Highlights include, “We’d only invade fun places, like Cabo,” and pie would be free, somehow. She also commented that she’d be the first president since Nixon to wear eyeshadow(?) in case that makes sense to any of you. Did we mention that she gave this talk while wearing a bikini and trying to pose in a sexy way while sitting on a desk?
He’s had a very interesting relationship with the current president. West claimed that Obama calls him at home. Obama denies even having his number. At some point, Obama called Kanye a “jackass.” Kanye then brought his wife, Kim Kardashian, to an event and they had a photo-op with the president, for which Kim wore a tight top that matched her skin tone, making her look half-naked. (What is it with Obama surrounding himself with crazy people!?) At the very least, Kanye’s speeches as president would be hilarious, as would his debates. Instead of presidential debates, we’d see rap battles. If one of his friends lost an election, President West would be up there snatching the mic out of the winners hands at his victory party. The “politics” section of the paper would be more entertaining than the “entertainment” section.